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A life you love on a budget you can afford.

Here on TBM®, I provide you with simple, easy-to-follow solutions to help you budget your money, pay off debt, save more, and crush your financial goals. But more than that, I give you the tools to start doing the things that matter most to you, on a budget that actually works!

I Stopped Trying to Be Perfect and My Budget Thanked Me for It

October 19, 2017
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I developed this craving for fashion and clothes, and it slowly spiraled out of control. With all the new clothes came expensive hair appointments, nail appointments, new shoes, waxing appointments, and tanning sessions.

Ever since I was little, I always had this “idea” of the type of woman I wanted to be when I grew up. I used to watch Melanie Griffith in Working Girl with envy, and I thought to myself, “I want to be that successful, that smart, that pretty, that perfect.”

If you haven't seen Working Girl, it's a must-see movie where Melanie Griffith plays a secretary at the bottom of the corporate ladder. Throughout the film, she eventually realizes that to get ahead; she has to break a few rules and portray to be someone she really isn't – her boss.

She changes her appearance, starts wearing gorgeous shoes and clothes, and eventually ends up with a huge promotion at work and wins the guy at the end of the movie. If you haven't seen it, watch it!

Workinggirl Madonna GIF from Workinggirl GIFs

So as a little girl, I developed this image of the type of woman I wanted to become – what I wanted to look like, act like, be like. I developed this craving for fashion and clothes, and it slowly spiraled out of control. With all the new clothes came expensive hair appointments, nail appointments, new shoes, waxing appointments, and tanning sessions.

At the age of 25, the reality of what it took to portray this woman that I wanted to become hit me hard. I just started a new job in the financial industry, just graduated college with a pile of student loans, I had seven racked up credit cards, and my financial life was a mess.

  • Read: My Worst Money Mistakes – The Money Drainers You Need To Avoid

The perfect woman I had imagined in my head, was no longer someone I could pretend being. To dig myself out of the debt hole I created, I had to take a hard look at not only the numbers but at my behavior.

In the movie, Melanie Griffith's boss tells her, “Dress shabbily, and they notice the dress. Dress impeccably, and they notice the woman.”

As I looked in my closet, filled with brand-named clothes, dresses that I never wore, shirts with tags still on them, I realized that most of the purchases I made over the years were things I didn't even like. I tried to be the woman who was always on trend, the one with the new Fossil tote in ivory and beige, or the new off-the-shoulder dress that you've probably seen everywhere lately. I tried being that woman, and the moment I finally got comfortable wearing something that I wouldn't usually wear, it would go out of style just as fast.

You see, needing to look a certain way happens like clockwork. The more I tried to keep up, the more I would fail. I eventually learned that I don't want to be like everyone else, and real fashion is about making your own choices, creating your own style, and wearing jeans when everyone else is telling you to wear a dress.

It took me two years and five months to dig myself out of the financial mess I created trying to be perfect. To this day, I still get ideas in my head that I should be a certain way, and my life would be easier because of it. If I just had perfect skin, and hair that just magically looked good all the time, I could spend less time getting ready in the morning and spend more time doing things that actually matter to me.

  • Read: Balance Transfers – How I Paid Off $7,500 In Credit Card Debt

If I have a closet full of new clothes that are always on trend, I wouldn't have to worry or stress about what I am going to wear in the morning, and no matter what I pick, I will always look good.

These are all of the things that we are told to “want” to be able to do. Be the woman who looks good without any real effort. But for me, it took all of my effort. I realized that spending money in an attempt to be that kind of person got me nowhere, and in the end made me worse off.

Learning to love myself, and everything that came with the real woman that I genuinely was, took time and a lot of soul-searching. With a world which is continually trying to sell me the version of “her” that I tried being for so long, it's still hard to this day. But I know that the woman the world is trying to sell me doesn't exist. But I do.

You were born to be real. Not to be perfect.Click To Tweet

You don't need fancy manicures, the newest clothes, or perfect hair to be the best version of you. I can tell you from experience; you can't buy it. And if you try, you will fail financially.

I have told you many times before, that setting up and using a budget is crucial because it allows you to spend money on things that are important to you. It essentially tells your money where to go and gives you a blueprint on how you should spend your money every month. But setting up a budget and filling it with expenses that aren't important can also ruin your finances.

  • Read: Our 2017 Budget Binder (A Plan for Every Dollar)

My messy hair, imperfect skin, do-it-yourself nails, and $10 jacket from Ross doesn't make up the woman that I am. The fact of the matter is, no one thing will ever transform you into Melanie Griffith from Working Girl, and pretending to be someone you are not, will never make you that perfect woman. You will always be the same you – only with more unnecessary expenses in your budget, and a new pair of shoes.

Stop wearing the dress everyone is telling you to wear, and put on the dang jeans.

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Filed Under: Tagged With: BUDGET, MY STORIES, SELF IMPROVEMENT

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Hello, I'm Kumiko, but everyone just calls me Miko. Welcome to my blog, The Budget Mom. I am an Accredited Financial Counselor® , and mom to a rambunctious boy. Come along with me as I strive to live a life I love on a budget that I can afford. Read more about me.

RECENT YOUTUBE VIDEO

The Budget Mom

The Budget Mom
It’s time for another Real Life Budget. I asked my readers to submit their REAL information. Real spending, real debt, and real savings goals.

I am taking those real-life numbers and showing you how I would organize and budget that information using my Budget By Paycheck® Method.

If you would like to submit your budget information to possibly be picked for a Real Life Budget that we will show on YouTube, please reach out to budgets@thebudgetmom.com.

Diane is a single mom who is a Database Administrator for an IT Department at a local college. She lives in Queens, NY, and eventually wants to move to a lower-cost of living area in the future. 

Diane submitted her information because she is struggling to organize and tackle all of her larger short-term goals.

CHAPTERS:
00:00 Introduction
02:15 Why & Personal Story
04:20 Income 
04:37 Fixed Expenses
05:48 Variable Expenses
06:31 Debt
07:53 Savings Goals
10:18 Budget By Paycheck Method
14:51 My Recommendations

➡️ HOW I TRACK MY SPENDING: https://bit.ly/3aIe89I
➡️ HOW TO USE A BUDGET CALENDAR: https://bit.ly/2IzF2Vj
➡️ FINDING YOUR WHY: https://bit.ly/3aJUryj
➡️ THE BUDGET MOM'S FINANCIAL FREEDOM STEPS: https://bit.ly/3cfJXsp
➡️ HOW TO GET STARTED WITH THE CASH ENVELOPE METHOD: https://bit.ly/2vQJaO5
➡️ HOW TO CREATE A PLAN OF ATTACK TO PAY OFF DEBT: https://bit.ly/2wDETxF

ABOUT ME

Kumiko Love is a single mom who empowers women everywhere to regain control of their financial lives. An Accredited Financial Counselor with over nine years of experience in the finance industry, she founded The Budget Mom, a community of millions of women on a path to financial fulfillment.

She's also the creator of the wildly popular Live Rich Planner® and Budget by Paycheck® Workbook. Love has been featured on Good Morning America, the Today show, CNN, CBS, ABC and in USA Today, US News, World Report, Huffington Post, Money Magazine, Parents Magazine, the Washington Post, and Real Simple. She lives in Spokane Valley, Washington.

YOU CAN FIND ME AT:

📝 WEBSITE: https://www.thebudgetmom.com
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