You know that mom that you hear from your kitchen window while you're washing dishes, screaming at her young son to get away from the street – yeah that's me. I guess you could say that this whole parenting thing really kicked me in the a**, but I swear I really am a normal mom – I think.
I totally have this whole house cleaning business down. Chasing a 3 year old around the house while trying to get laundry done is super easy, and I am managing to save money while I do it. I leave the clothes in the washer for so long that when I go to put them in the dryer, they are already dry. Pretty bad huh? Oh well, it saves on the electric bill right? It just makes me a really frugal mom.
It's kind of crazy that on the nights I don't feel like cooking, I grab cheeseburgers from Zips on the way home for dinner. It really does make for a great meal for the pretend fort we just made in the living room with the couch cushions. Plus, it's the only meal my son doesn't insist to nuke in his pretend microwave – which means less toys to clean up under that pretend fort. Win-Win.
Did you know that I can really bust some serious moves? Oh yeah, my son says that I am the best dancer in the world. It's really easy. You literally run around the house like a crazy person, twirl like a princess and it will work like a charm. You will win the best dancer award from your child just like that. I give myself bonus points for making my son really laugh – you know that laugh where you are barely breathing but can't stop? Yeah, that laugh. Plus give yourself a high-five if you do it in front of an open window and notice your neighbors pointing at you.
It's really easy putting my son to bed. All he asks for is 10 minutes to lay and snuggle with his mom. OK, so I am not that mom who refuses to let her son lay in the grown up bed, even though I swore I would never let it happen. But I promise he made me do it. His eyes got really big, and the tears started rolling. It's our time to tell each other stories, that quick second where he doesn't squirm like a worm. So I will take the 10 minutes of snuggle time with my son over the promise I made to myself to never let it happen.
I am totally the master at keeping my son entertained. Who told you tattoos are useless? Did I mention that I have a huge coloring book on my arm? Did I also mention how well my son can color in the lines? I love how creative my son is. At just three years old he told me that blue and red make purple. You should really see this kid's mad coloring skills. Plus, that expensive tattoo mommy got – it just got a brand new face lift thanks to my very talented son. You bet I display that at the grocery store.
As a mom, I truly try to keep fashion a priority. I totally know the low down when it comes to brands, and I must say my Victoria Secret bathrobe is spot on. Did I mention it’s Victoria Secret? Yeah that’s right – I told you I know fashion. My son tells me I am pretty every day, so I know I look good. Painting my nails at home is always fun too. Don’t hate on the matching blue toe nail polish me and my son had on yesterday. He’s only 3, and just wants to be like his mom – can you blame him?
I am that mom that has a hard time saying no, the one who sometimes lets her son stay up late and watch cartoons. I am the mom who sometimes puts her son to bed without brushing his teeth, and lets him have a piece of chocolate before dinner. I am the mom who goes just a bit nuts trying to make her son laugh. I am way too protective, and too easy on the discipline. I am the one who gave up trying to worry about what other mom’s think about me. For me, being this mom is enough. I know I am not the mom I thought I was going to be, and that’s OK because my son doesn’t want any other mom besides me.
View this article over at the Huffington Post Parents HERE